First off, why does a demon, WHO IS NOT FROM THIS FREAKING WORLD BY THE WAY know anything about bespoke suits? Hell, how would the demon know how expensive something was?
Also, I really would like for Clare to pick a POV and fucking stick with it for once in her goddamn life! Seriously, why are we suddenly in going from third person limited to third person omnipresent? This whole prolouge was in third person limited, and then seemingly for no other reason other than for Agramon to gush over Valentine SHE FUCKING CHANGES THE POV! This shit here is something I would expect out a rookie writer, not someone who worked for years as a journalist, and especially not someone who is writing their second book.
I’m also side-eying the fuck out of Clare’s so-called Editors. I usually don’t pick on the Editors, because god knows I have my own issues with editing. But after reading chapter 21 of ‘City of Bones’ and now this? This is the fucking last straw! Clare needs to fire her editors and pay for some competent independent editors to actually edit her book for a change. This shit right here is totally unacceptable!
Now, I want to ask you guys a question: re-read the green highlighted parts, and then I want you to tell me in all seriousness was that description at all scary or intimidating in the slightest?
In my own opinion, Valentine is just not all that terrifying. The way Clare describes him brings to my mind that of a mildly annoyed accountant. And he can’t pull off the whole mild-mannered bad ass vibe that Agent Phil Coulson from Marvel Cinematic Universe seemed to pull off seamlessly. In the end, Valentine once again comes off like a wannabe who is just trying too hard.