He took her arm and pulled her sideways of the main street. They emerged into a small
square with a well at its center. A masonry bridge arched over a narrow canal just ahead of
them. In the fading light the water in the canal looked almost black. Clary could hear the
voices herself now, coming from the streets nearby. They were raised, angry-sounding.
Clary’s dizziness increased—she felt as if the ground were tilting under her, threatening to
send her sprawling. She leaned back against the wall of the alley, gasping for air.[…]
She screamed, twisting away from him. She wasn’t sure why she felt so terried—she’d
seen Luke Change before, and he’d never harmed her. But the terror was a live thing inside
her, uncontrollable. Luke caught at her shoulders and she cringed away from him, away
from his yellow, animal eyes, even as he hushed her, begging her to be quiet in his ordinary,
human voice. “Clary, please—”
“Let me go! Let me go!” […]
— City of Glass by Cassandra Clare
Chapter 3: Amatis
Note: I will be taking Friday off, because the second half of this chapter is shorter than I anticpated. I will be back on Monday with the usual schedudle
Cassandra Clare can’t write for shit! These two snippets once again prove it. First of all, the first snippet Clary is calm and even though Clary mentions that she is feeling sick. Also, you really don’t see Luke freaking out, he’s still as calm as ever. There is no emotion or underline panic with this description. Everything is told to us in this very placid narrative.
Then you take in the second one, where Clary is hallucinating that Luke all wolfed out. And for all of her panicking, there is still no emotion or any type of tone in the text. In my opinion, the emotion in the second snippet is just as bland as the first snippet.
And honestly, it’s like this all the time Clary is affected by the Lake’s water. At one moment she’s calmly describing her pain and the next she tripping balls! Clare can’t have it both ways, either she’s sick or she’s not. Clare refuses to be consistent with this subplot and it’s driving me fucking insane.
Honestly, what Clare should have done was have Clare gradually start to lose it and Luke being scared shitless that his pseudo-daughter is going to die. To me, having the narrative ping-pong between calm and panic with no emotion in either text just makes for shitty writing all around.